Masking and After-School Crash Record
The pattern of holding it together all day and collapsing at home — recorded as observations, so a school that sees none of it has something to read.
When a school reports no concerns and a child falls apart within minutes of getting home, the gap between the two settings is itself the information, and a dated record of the first hour after school is what makes it discussable.
Masking and After-School Crash Record
Frequently asked
What is masking?
The term used for suppressing or camouflaging responses to fit in with a setting — staying silent, copying peers, holding distress until later. It is exhausting, it is not deliberate deception, and it is why the same child can be described completely differently by two adults on the same day.
Why does the crash happen at home?
Because home is where it is safe to stop. The commonly used term is after-school restraint collapse, and the same pattern is visible in adults after a demanding day. It being worse at home is a sign of trust, not of a problem with the home.
How do I raise this with a school that sees nothing?
With observations rather than conclusions, and with dates. "On these eleven days, this is what happened between 3:35 and 4:30" is very hard to dismiss and very easy to act on. Asking what they observe at specific moments — the corridor, unstructured break, the end of the day — is usually more productive than asking whether they see a problem.
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