Parental Illness Explainer
How much to tell a child at each age when a parent is seriously ill, and the three things children need to hear regardless of age.
Guidance on telling children about a parent's serious illness converges on three things they need to hear at any age and rarely ask for: that it is not their fault, that they cannot catch it, and exactly who will look after them.
Parental Illness Explainer
Frequently asked
Should we tell children at all?
The consistent finding across illness charities is yes, in an age-appropriate form. Children almost always know something is wrong, and the version they build from overheard fragments is typically worse than the reality — and it comes with the added weight of not being allowed to mention it.
How much detail is too much?
Detail should follow their questions rather than lead them. Answer what was asked, stop, and make clear more questions are welcome. Prognosis in particular should be shared when asked directly, honestly, and with the uncertainty included.
Should the school know?
Yes, and it is the step most often missed. A school that knows can interpret withdrawal or anger correctly instead of treating it as a behaviour issue, and can offer quiet practical adjustments. One named person in the school is enough.
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