Bereavement Conversation Guide

Published guidance generally favours offering the choice with a clear, concrete description of what will happen, an adult assigned to them who is not the chief mourner, and permission to leave. Children who are excluded frequently report resenting it years later; children who are compelled report the same.

Because young children are literal. "Gone to sleep" produces bedtime fear; "we lost him" produces fear of being lost; "gone away" produces waiting. Bereavement organisations across countries are unusually consistent on this point.

Childhood bereavement charities in most countries offer free family support with no referral and no threshold — you do not have to be struggling to use them. A GP or school counsellor can refer if a child's grief is affecting eating, sleeping, school or friendships over a sustained period.